REVIEW: Troll 2
The pessimistic outlook for our survival on this planet is everywhere these days; global warming and it's effects, bird flu, war, and the terrorist threat! Many people are turning to scripture and finding the signs of the Apocalypse are happening now. This comes as no surprise, for I have seen the four horsemen heralding the end of days in the 1991 release of Troll 2. The power of evil this movie unleashes through it's pure badness is staggering and a sure sign that Judgment Day is at hand.
Director Drago Floyd wastes no time drawing in the viewer with a disturbing bed time story read by Grampa Seth. It tells of a courageous young boy named Peter who has lost his way home and is being hunted by "little people of the night" Goblins! Grampa Seth explains to his grandson Josh that goblins don't have to justify their cruel acts. Apparently neither did Epic Productions, who unleashed this travesty of a movie!
Is Grandpa Seth just telling a bed time story or could goblins really exist? Josh and his family are about to find out, as they take a much needed vacation to a "wonderful half-empty town" named Nilbog.This rustic community is actually the kingdom of goblins, where disguised as humans, the goblins try to feed people a green substance that will turn them into "half man, half plant" the goblins' favorite food. Will Josh save his family through the guidance of
Grampa Seth or will they be turned into a banquet for locals?!
Yes, yes the story sounds pretty bad, but don't worry, It's execution is far worse. The opening credits are some of the best I have ever seen and the hits keep rolling. The effects, costume, and make-up are unparalleled. Corn on the cobb has never been so funny; a scene you will never forget! I haven't even mentioned the acting. These
performances are so bad they reach levels I did not think were possible.
You and your friends will be reeling in laughter. Just when you think it can't get worse it does! This is the quintessential good bad movie. No tragedy has ever made me feel as good as Troll 2.
Hamlin Grade : 10
Fletch is a killing word!
Comments
as a huge fan of knowing your "bad movie" knowledge, i have to share with you that late last year, i discovered the worst of the worst, in my honest opinion (and this coming from someone who has seen 'tango and cash'). "remo williams: the adventure begins" stars fred ward (who is a personal favorite due to his crazy weird facial expressions and voice)is downright awful. some parts are so cock-eyed its actually hilarious when you're completely wasted. plenty of great one-liners. and a scary fact: it was nominated for an oscar for best makeup or something. here is a sample of some great lines:
"you're going to be the 11th commandment: thou shalt not get away with it!"
"who are you? FBI? CIA? salvation army?"
just so you know, one of the bad guys has a very distinct dental feature that is used in a gut-wrenchingly hilarious way later on in the film. let me know what you think.
Posted by: Eli | June 16, 2006 01:27 AM
Eli may man, feel free to check out the review section of Bad Movie Knights. I hope you will be glad to find of a review of Remo Williams The Adventure Begins. It seems we have similar feelings for the great Fred Ward........words just don't describe his talents.
Posted by: Fletch | October 12, 2006 08:31 PM
This film is beyond amazing. Not content with showing us a distinct lack of trolls, they also give us the creepy paedophilic dead grandaddy with the pervy smile, the sister who can't dance for shit but still wants to be a spice girl, and midgets in brown sweaters poking people with sticks. The essential ingredients to a good saturday night...
Posted by: Part-time Ninja | January 15, 2007 08:04 AM
What? No mention of the oh so clever name of the town Nilbog? Pure Genius! And clearly the makers of Might and Magic VI (a game that required more grinding than an old-school gangsta rap video and sucked more than Pamela Anderson at an 80's hair metal band revival festival) must have been watching this movie since they ripped off the idea and employed it themselves.
Posted by: Hoopy Frood | April 6, 2007 04:18 PM
You were so right. This movie was funny from title to end credits. My friends and I will be repeating lines like "she's becoming one with the vegetable world" for years to come. The popcorn scene! The anti-vegetarianism! The Troll house! All amazing. The best part is (aside from the fact that the movie about "goblins" not trolls)is the cliffhanger ending, clearly they anticipated making a Troll 3. I really wish they had...
LG
Posted by: Laura | March 16, 2008 03:33 PM
I saw a video on YouTube, where he was saying: "OH NO! They're eating her. And then they're going to eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!I was laughing for days.
Posted by: Brynn | August 3, 2008 05:44 PM
I saw a video on YouTube, where he was saying: "OH NO! They're eating her. And then they're going to eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! I was laughing for days.
Posted by: Brynn | August 3, 2008 05:49 PM
Troll 2 is KING. and i just found out that i live 2 and a half hrs from the actor who plays Seth's dad.
do you think you guys could do a review of the abortion that is Pinata: Survival Island starring Jaime Presley.
Posted by: Joey | January 17, 2009 01:55 AM
Holy fuck will you guys ever put up some new reviews? Don't you understand that this website keeps me alive?
Posted by: Joey | March 15, 2009 11:36 PM
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Posted by: Sagassite | October 26, 2009 05:58 AM
Im sure I can speak for all that we would love to see a follow up to this post.
Posted by: ceiling fan | March 2, 2011 08:47 PM
Demolition High and Beyond the Law. Awesome bad movies. Check them out. They never disappoint.
Posted by: Michael McCormick | May 8, 2012 12:37 AM